A Single Moment
I never thought you were breakable. Fluxing and flailing hither and thither without any thought of what was happening around us we thought we were eternal.
The dark sand under your feet, the ocean bluer than I had ever seen it before and the sky so uncharacteristically clear of clouds, clear of the grayness. And you just stood there, pale as a ghost, holding the knife in your left hand staring at the horizon, into the nothingness.
And there was nothing I could do.
Nothing on earth I could have done. You didn’t see me. You didn’t hear me. In your eyes I didn’t exist anymore. It was as if all the time we had spent together had vanished into thin air.
Your memory was shattered.
Your sanity broken into billion grains of black sand underneath our feet.
And I can’t forget it.
The way you moved your hand so slowly towards your own heart. The way you continued to stare into the blue. The way you fell to the ground. Broken. Bent.
I guess I rushed towards you. Put my hands over the wound. I guess I tried to save you but I knew it was useless. I knew that your mind was already gone and your body would follow. I know I did something but my mind was back there, standing completely still on the black sand staring into your eyes and listening to the harsh sound as the waves of the ocean came crashing in.
I know I did something. I just don’t know what. I guess it doesn’t matter. I guess it will never matter and that I will never remember.
Your broken soul. Your broken eyes.
And the hatred was born within me. The hatred towards that man who had done this to us. Who had done this to you. Who had done this to me. I turned my head towards the mountains in the distance slowly and I growled at him. I screamed, I’m sure. I screamed although I couldn’t hear the sound of my own voice.
And I promised myself and the universe that I would get my revenge.
I promised, I swore to all that was holy that I would chase him to the end of the earth. That I would chase him as far as I had to and I would end his life, I would break him the way he broke you, the way he broke me.
Such an exhausting thing carrying a broken soul, a broken spirit. I live an exhausting life filled with rage and hatred. There is nothing else inside of me. What once was me is still standing on that black beach, watching you in your last moment, the moment before you ended it all. I stand there still staring into your broken soul because at least it was there, it was you, broken or not.
I stand there and I wait for it to be my time but that time will not come until I have had my vengeance. When my mission is complete I will join you. I will still be standing on that beach and I will take the knife out of your hands and I will place it where it belongs.
In my heart.
And I will lie on that beach with you.
On the black sand.
And the blue waves of the ocean will wash over us.
And together we will stare, with our broken eyes, up at the cloudless sky.
But first he will pay. I will chase him to the end of the earth, till the end of time. I will find him and I will break him.
Like he broke us.