Since the 14th of June I woke up each morning thinking the strange thought:
“I am pregnant”
It was a realization each morning. A thought so foreign that I felt at times that it belonged to someone else. It was a dreamlike state spent in wonder and abstract existence, not to mention the fear that slowly crept up as I realized how fragile this little life was (and is). The initial weeks I felt like there was a stone in my stomach, I thought chocolate was the most disgusting thing on the planet and sometimes I even felt slightly nauseous. Only once did I feel a real onset of nausea though. I lost my appetite but regained it after a couple of weeks.
Summer vacation was just around the corner then and we decided to go on a short and sweet car vacation. We packed the car full of tent, clothes, quilts and other camping necessities and drove off over the bridge to Denmark and towards Germany. I felt optimistic and excited as I drove on to the boat to Puttgarden. That night we camped south of Hanoover in the rain, we cooked pasta and I found a four leaf clover (the second for the summer). We slept on an air madras that felt more comfortable than my bed and woke up feeling rested and rejuvenated. We were off before 8 o’clock the next morning. I love driving and on these vacations of ours I do all the driving. We were south of Dole in France the next day. We camped in a lovely camping by a nice river where small pony’s ran. On the third day we arrived at our destination, Frontignan Plage. We have a favorite camping there and were lucky enough to get a spot we’d been on before and liked.
The next 8-10 days we spent on the beach, staring at the night sky, eating baguettes, chocolate filled bread, ice-cream and I drank some cherry Coke and lots and lots of water. It was strange to spend the dark evenings sitting in our comfortable chairs by the tent without getting to drink a glass of red wine. I don’t know if it’s because of the wine I’ve always find the evenings in that place warm before but it sure wasn’t warm now. Thankfully I had a lot of quilts and clothes to wrap around myself so there was no discomfort. I spent a lot of time studying the people around us, mostly they were French (usually the camp is over flooded with Germans) and people from Belgium. Studying people is what makes camping such a nice experience. It’s just the cold that gets to me. People will not convince me to go camping in cold climate!
We drove around the area, which we know pretty well by now, but I didn’t feel up to walking long distances and I surely didn’t want to spend too long away from a WC or a place to rest, so we never ventured far. We’ve been there 3-4 times before so we know the area pretty well and it felt nice to just laze around Frotignan, take small walks on the beach and enjoy the nice weather and the calm.
When we decided to drive home we started early and had good luck with the traffic so we camped near Kassel. We drove till 9 in the evening, the last hour in rain and thunder. Camping wasn’t fun and I put on most of my clothes just to be sure to be warm and comfortable during the night. We found a nice camping away from the autobahn and I loved driving there through the small, strange German villages. We’ve stayed in campings near the autobahn on our previous trips, they never seize to amaze me. The small caravans are left there all year round, guarded by dozens of small gnomes and frog statues. And the people who spend their vacations there seem to think that the nearer to the Autobahn the better. I remember one where autobahn was on one side and a giant nuclear plant on the other. It was a camping village and we felt like aliens staying there as the “inhabitants” stared at us like we were the strangest people ever to arrive. We where like Mulder & Scully trying to figure out the X-file.
The morning in the camping near Kassel was cold. I woke up at around 7 (as I had been doing throughout the vacation) and walked around the camping. It was smaller than these campings usually are and very quiet. Apart from a few caravans who had, like us, decided to stay there for the night only one man and his motorcycle shared the camping with us. It had been a soft, quiet vacation, just the way we wanted it.
We arrived home the next evening. It’s never as much fun driving through Denmark on the way home as it is on the way down but it felt comfortable and good to drive over the Öresundsbro and be back home with a real toilet and the comfort of having a roof over your head.
It was a coincidence that we decided to go home when we did. It was also a coincidence that we were lucky with the traffic and managed to drive from Frotignan in two days. When we got home we found a note saying that I had a time for ultrasound the next day (I had been promised it would be delayed until we were definitely home). So the next day we went to take a look at the little passenger.
We got to see the little head and the little life. And I found out that it was week 12 then.
The first trimester already over.
And still this thought filled my mind as I woke up in the morning, this new, strange thought, which always seemed to come as a surprise: “I’m pregnant”.
(P.S. We were very careful to know the nearest emergency room/hospital at all time for those who worry:))